©2015, Ayobami Temitope Kehinde
Here is to women who have rough pasts. Listen (or should I say read) up.
IF you have truly repented of your evil ways and asked the Saviour Jesus Christ, into your heart as your Lord and Saviour and you allow Him work in you to will and to do of His good pleasure, you are as PRECIOUS as another daughter of His who has no sexcapades in her past, who gave her life to the Lord as early as three, four, six, eight or ten and has been walking with Him since then. Oh yes, you may have had several sex partners in the past, aborted countless times, contacted STDs or HIV (you might even still be infected), gotten your womb removed etc., yet are you very precious (I John 1:7).
See, the way we see is not the way God sees. Our ways are not His ways neither can our thoughts be compared to His (Isaiah 55:6-9). If you are not as precious as that other Christian lady who married as a virgin, then the Blood of Jesus was shed in vain. Stop looking down on yourself. Brace up and get past the past. Don’t you realise the Lord is able to do anything? He can make a message out of your mess, a silk purse out of your sow’s ear, and spin gold from your straw. The Blood that Jesus shed on Calvary is strong enough to wipe off the most stubborn stain of sin.
Yeah, you might be feeling guilty because you were a serious child of God who backslid into sin. Praise God you’re back now, He found you again. If you want to know what is in God’s mind about you regarding your backslide and return, read the story of the prodigal son again (Luke 15:11-32).
Now, the fact that you have a past you are not proud of does not mean you should say yes to every Tom, Dick or Harry that comes to ask for your hand in marriage even if he is a Daddy GO or Bishop. There is a tendency for you to want to feel undeserving of a good man because of your past records. Remember you are now washed and God sees that past no more. You don’t believe me? Read Ezekiel 18:21-24 and 2 Corinthians 5:17. Don’t forget also that we have established the fact that you are as precious as every other daughter of the Most High. Therefore, do not settle for less than God’s best when deciding who to marry.
Let the Lord guide you to the best man He has prepared for you. Don’t let any man guilt you into marrying and make you feel grateful for even considering you for marriage despite your past. There is a man out there for you, he understands that he was saved by grace also and that even if he doesn’t have a horrid past, he was still saved by grace. He understands that all men (humans) have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God, even if they are morally upright(Romans 3:23). He understands that being a good person outside of the righteousness faith in the Blood of Jesus bestows is likened unto a filthy rag in the sight of God (Isaiah 64:6). No man is doing you a favour by thinking of marrying you. Please get that straight.
There is a man out there who will stick to you even if you are wombless, who will be willing to adopt children with you if God doesn’t replace the womb. Even if you are HIV positive, you are not hopeless, so far you are now on God’s side, He has the best in stock for you. Just make sure you tell the man you want to marry. Not telling him is deception and God won’t be pleased. Let him decide if he wants to stay or go. Someone else will come. Actually, the main thing is your relationship with God, if it is sound and working, every other thing will fall in place with time (Matthew 6:33). God is the best thing that can happen to you, He is your exceeding great reward (Genesis 15:1), so hold tight to Him.
Note, that you are now in Christ (or are back in Christ) does not mean you will not face the consequence(s) of some of your escapades. That is normal. It’s just like if you don’t study for an exam, even if you pray all night before the day of the exam, you will fail woefully. For example, if you have aborted once or more, you face the risk of not being able to conceive again. But that does not change the fact that you are precious to God neither does it make you less forgiven. He will be right by your side to encourage and comfort you in the trouble your past brought into your life and if it pleases Him, He can make that wrecked womb whole again or make a new womb grow in place of the evacuated one.
For you woman living a reckless life and you think God can never forgive you because you have gone too far, He can and will. Maybe you never planned this kind of life. Possibly, you were sexually abused by someone you trust—parent, brother/sister, cousin, aunty, pastor, uncle, neighbour etc.—and you got launched into promiscuity. Your own case could even be that you have no one to sponsor your education and the ‘only’ option available was sleeping around. Maybe you have no reason, though no reason is justifiable, for living this way. Anyhow, He has promised to not cast away anyone who comes to Him, no matter what (John 6:37). He will not cast you away if you will humbly come to Him and let Him save you. He wants you to come as you are, He wants to make you whole.
That woman caught in adultery was taken to Jesus, her accusers (maybe the man she sinned together with was among them also) thought Jesus would condemn her, but to their shame, He asked the sinless among them to cast the first stone. And, one by one, they left. The only thing Jesus says to you today, like He said to that woman is “Go now and leave your life of sin.”(John 8:11 -NIV). And after you have come to Him, remain in Him (John 15:1-17). Shalom!
